The Backslide

Progress mostly isn’t linear. We all know this. Yet we still hold ourselves accountable to standards of productivity and success that, although not impossible, are often unrealistic. At least I do, but I suspect that most of us do. It might be one of those universal challenges of being human- learning how to accomplish big things while also staying grounded in reality. Which seems like a paradox. And don’t even get me started on those.

Thanks to thought leaders like James Clear, we’ve learned that humans achieve goals through small daily habits that gradually propel us forward. I’ve seen this in my own life and witnessed it in those around me. It’s a beautiful truth. But it’s also true that everyone backslides, because, as we said at the beginning, progress isn’t linear.

Probably everyone backslides. I haven’t researched the backslide phenomenon, so I can’t say for sure. Except lately I’ve been noticing more and more anecdotes about backsliding from those in my immediate orbit, and personalities I follow on social media. Regardless, it’s comforting to feel as though we’re all in it together.

The causes? Two stand out: complacency and loss. Struggle, in general, doesn’t seem to be the problem for most of us. Productive struggle keeps us engaged. Complacency seems to happen in the absence of productive struggle, at which point we lose sight of the goal. And loss, well, I’m guessing we’ve all been there. Nothing derails us like loss, especially when we lose someone or something we’ve told ourselves we can’t live without. It’s the worst- the actual worst.

So then we autopilot. We do the things we know we value, not because we suddenly feel motivated (it’s great when that happens, but waiting for motivation is like waiting for someday), but because at some point on the timeline of our life we figured out that we longed to accomplish something. And longing tends to persist in a way that edges out most other distractions.

Don’t let me bully you into anything here. If you’re content right where you are, if you’ve turned all of your heart’s desires into reality, then by all means sit in that contentment and enjoy the hell out of it. But I’m not where you are. Contentment is elusive, and longing is loud. It tells me: “Only you can do this. So quit being a fragile baby and get it done already. Also, I believe in you, and I love you.”

Longing and I are basically best friends, obviously.

Happy August, and be well :)