Stacking Days
First, is this what being a writer looks like? Sitting in the sunshine, along with the plants, next to the radiator because it’s only March and still not warm in northern Minnesota? It did today because I’m on spring break and was home in the middle of a weekday. What a delight!
People ask me what kind of books I write. Well, since I’m only on book number one, it’s tough to say. But it seems that I write stories that are mostly true and lean toward bittersweet. Is that a genre? One type of book I’ve never imagined putting out into the world is anything “how to.” I mean, what do I know?
Except that I was out to dinner with a friend the other night, and we were talking about moving through grief, specifically traumatic loss. She put the process into words I’d never considered before. She said we get through it by stacking the days.
I’ve been thinking about it all week: stacking days. I do know something about that. Because it seems to be all I’ve been able to manage for the past couple of months. It’s nothing to worry about; eventually, I’ll right myself again. But until then, these are a few of the less typical things that have been helping me stack the days. In case you’re interested. If not, no worries. Just putting it out there.
YouTube ambiance videos in the background of everything I’m doing. Essential video ingredients? Fire, water, and nature- only soothing sounds and images. Plus, they’re aspirational. AI or not, in my imagination these places are real and I want to visit them.
Soup. I throw some of whatever random vegetables I have on hand into a small kettle. Cutting them first is only utilitarian and definitely not something to fuss over. I add some white miso, a little wild rice, quinoa (whatever grain feels sturdy), and plenty of salt and pepper. Boil it all for a bit, and we have comfort in a bowl. I usually just eat out of the kettle, but feel free to do what you want. We’re just stacking days, after all.
Today’s soup has a little canned pumpkin thrown in, just to use it up. Remember- no rules when it comes to daily soup :)
Today’s soup has a little canned pumpkin thrown in, just to use it up. Remember- no rules when it comes to daily soup :)
Putting myself to bed whenever I feel like it, without judgment. Whenever I was going through something growing up, my mom would tell me to just go to bed, and things would feel better in the morning. And she was right. Although not magically resolved, things definitely felt more figuroutable after a good night of sleep. So I’ve gotten better at doing that. Going to bed early, I mean. Sometimes, before it’s even dark. And if anyone sleep-shames you, feel free to tell them off or to go to bed themselves, whichever feels more appropriate in the situation.
I don’t want to wish the precious days away. But sometimes, when we’re fumbling through periods of transition, the only thing to do is stack them, one on top of the other, before we inevitably level up. You’ll know when you’re done stacking because you’ll realize one day that you aren’t doing it anymore. That somehow, things are less heavy, more better. You’ll forget all about stacking and just live, like the normalish person you are. Be well.