The Books We Carry

This is the actual copy of Charlotte’s Web that was given to me as a girl. It went to college with me, moved to Montana with me and then back to Minnesota, and is with me still. There are only a handful of books I’ve owned for as long, mostly because I lend them out and never see them again. But I’ve been especially careful with this one because the story has always meant so much. Charlotte literally saves Wilbur’s life with her words. And the most beautiful part is that she asks for nothing in return. She unconditionally loves the hell out of him for no reason other than she feels like it. Love for love’s sake.

Charlotte’s Web also has one of my favorite book endings of all time:

“It is not often that someone comes along who is a true friend and a good writer. Charlotte was both.”

As someone who has been known to make major life decisions because of lines she’s read in books, it isn’t unusual for my mind to be blown by random words I read here and there. But this one informed so much of who I aspired to be during adolescence and beyond. I wanted to be that kind of friend and that kind of writer. I wanted to be wise. I wanted to be a mother.

I recently found a new book ending to add to my personal greatest of all time. It’s from Heartwood by Amity Gaige, and resonates more with midlife me. Because the question I ask myself multiple times per day, in all manner of situations, is, “What does love look like here?” 

“Here’s an idea: All emotions start out as love. Later, that love is worked on by the forces of luck and suffering.

Hate is just soured love.

Fear is wounded love.

Longing is homeless love.

Love, not pain, is the mother. Love is the taproot.

I have no regrets. I do not regret anything.”